Monday, December 18, 2006

Elf Christmas Jokes


  • What kind of music do elves like best?

"Wrap" music!

  • How many elves does it take to change a light bulb?

Ten! One to change the light bulb and nine to stand on each other's shoulders!

  • What kind of bread do elves make sandwiches with?

Why, shortbread of course!

  • What kind of money do elves use?

Jingle bills!

  • Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?

Because he had low "elf" esteem!

  • How long should an elf's legs be?

Just long enough to reach the ground!

  • Why did the elf put his bed into the fireplace?

He wanted to sleep like a log!

  • What's the first thing elves learn in school?

The "elf"-abet!

  • Knock Knock.Who's there?

Elf.

Elf who?

Elf me wrap this present for Santa!

  • Knock Knock.Who's there?

Yule.

Yule who?

Yule be sorry if you don't Holly up and Elf me wrap this present for Santa!

  • One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner".

And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!"

  • How do elves greet each other?

"Small world, isn't it?"

  • What do you call an elf who tells silly jokes?

A real Christmas Card!

  • What do they call a wild elf in Texas?

Gnome on the ranch!

  • Why did the elves ask the turkey to join the band?

Because he had the drum sticks!

  • If athletes get athlete's foot, what do elves get?

Mistle-toes!

  • What's another name for Santa's helpers?

Subordinate clauses!

  • Where do you find elves?

Depends where you left them!

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